Emotions are a wonderful element of human existence. The thunderous experience of anger can bring forth fear and uncertainty when experienced personally or witnessed at the hands of others. Out of all emotions, anger often gets the bad rap. When the emotional roots of anger are expressed by way of yelling, arguing, insulting, manipulation—or even physical altercations, destruction of property, and injuries to others—not only challenge relationships but also can destroy the psyche, leaving everlasting wounds and broken pieces that are never healed. Like anything in excess, uncontrollable anger is unhealthy. However, it is treatable through anger management counseling.
WHAT IS ANGER MANAGEMENT?
When we see the emotional or physical aspects of anger, we are witnessing only the surface level. What we understand about anger is that it is fueled by hurt. I once had a professor describe this notion using a matchstick metaphor. The friction is the trigger that “strikes the match,” so to speak. The flame is the anger we feel and experience. Interestingly, what keeps fueling the anger is hurt, which burns hot deep below the surface.
We all have the ability to stop anger before it burns out of control, but we must first start to recognize what is happening in both our bodies and our thoughts. Everyone begins with a normal arousal state, but as we are triggered the anger increases in its intensity. If we catch it early, we have the ability to take control of and reduce it. Through using some coping skills we can reduce our internal state. However, if we don’t take control in that crucial time, it’s over. As our body and brain take over, we lose complete control. Brain scans provide further evidence that, when anger appears, it shuts down the frontal cortex of our brain, the area that’s in charge of decision-making and picking up on social cues, etc.
Here’s a quick list of tools to help with you with anger management in the moment:
Take 5 deep slow breaths
Stand up and stretch your body
Journal your feelings
Write down what’s making you angry…and rip it up
Shake out your hands and feet until they are really loose
Exercise
Breathe in “calm,” breathe out “anger”
Massage your neck and shoulders
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), hold for 10 seconds each
Draw 10 circles, drawing each one slower then the last
“Vent” to someone for 5 minutes…just 5 minutes, though!
Based on your needs and goals, we’ll pair you with a counselor who practices the therapeutic modality most likely to support you on your journey towards mental and emotional wellbeing.
If you have questions about counseling, would like to find out if counseling could help you or a loved one, or are interested in learning more about our services, just complete the brief form below to request a Free Phone Consultation. A member of our team will contact you shortly. After a brief conversation, we'll determine together whether our practice is right for you and which therapist may be best suited for your specific circumstance.
Finding the right therapist, one you click with, is less about the therapist's experience and qualifications and more about the therapist's personality. So let's talk. Let us match you with a therapist you have a high likelihood of clicking with.
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