Be Your Own Valentine: A Guide to True Self Love

Dean Martin once sang “You’re nobody ‘til somebody loves you…” but by “somebody,” he should have meant the person you hold in the highest esteem: yourself. People toss around phrases like, “You have to love yourself” or “Love yourself before you can love someone else,” but what do these phrases actually mean?

Self-love is when we can appreciate ourselves in a way that supports our physical and psychological well-being. Through our actions, we accept our weaknesses and strengths. We are compassionate towards our imperfections. We find more meaning in our lives through self-fulfillment. By doing so, we become better versions of ourselves.

But how do we do this? How can we start to truly love ourselves? Here are 7 ideas for lasting self-love:

1. Be present in the moment. Let tomorrow’s worries be for tomorrow and focus on what you can do today. What is happening right now, at this very moment? Be mindful of today’s precious moments—you won’t have them tomorrow.

2. Take care of your body. Exercising, eating right, and getting enough sleep will increase your life expectancy. Go for a walk. Lift weights. Make a home-cooked meal. Go to bed early and seep a full 8 hours. All of these good, healthy habits will contribute to your overall health and happiness.

3. Be kind to yourself. We are often our own worst critics. Start treating yourself as well as you treat others. Be kind to yourself. Don’t judge yourself too harshly. Forgive yourself when you fall short. We all have problems and vices. Acknowledge that you are doing your best and accept yourself as you are…flaws and all.

4. Set healthy boundaries. Be around positive people who influence your life for the better. Don’t let others push you around and stand up for yourself when necessary. Clear out negative attitudes and seek to build healthy relationships with those who affect your life in a healthy, positive way.

5. Feed your curiosity. When you are around other people, ask questions. Go deeper than small talk. Explore new hobbies and interests. Read books. Research something of interest. Dive into an activity you love and reconnect with the energetic “inner child” that nourishes you.

6. Try things that scare you. Build self-confidence by overcoming your fears. You’ll learn more about yourself when you try something just outside your comfort zone. Overcoming a fear brings a sense of pride and confidence, knowing you can do anything you put your mind to. Don’t be afraid of vulnerability – even with yourself.

7. Live with purpose. Setting targets will help you live your life with meaning and intention toward something greater. When you set a target and achieve it, you will end up loving yourself for accomplishing what you set out to do.

Many of our clients struggle with self-love—it’s a tough skill to develop, and it takes practice, practice, practice. These 7 strategies will help you start to fall in love with who you are as a person. But if you’re struggling to find self-acceptance, please contact our counseling center. Our therapists are some of the best in Denver and will work to help you understand why you feel the way you do, reprocess past experiences, so you can begin truly loving yourself.

Creative Counseling Center is happy to offer a free phone consultation to new patients who are interested in counseling. Maybe you’re not sure if counseling is right for you, or maybe you’re just trying to find a counselor you truly connect with. Wherever you are, our practice is here to support you on your journey towards happiness and well-being.